Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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