mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
