You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
that is very illegal...i love you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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