he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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