my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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