Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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