I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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