So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
