before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
