You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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