just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize