They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
