there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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