I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
