i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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You know, be my cock's hype man.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
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Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness