90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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