haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
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He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
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Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams