I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
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