I wanna bring you to show and tell
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..