look no pants
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.