Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
