Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
