She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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