I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
