I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
And then he peed in my hair
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