Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That's intense
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
