if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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