Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize