Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
