i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
