Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
