we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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