i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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