we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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