No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This baby is an asshole
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
