Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
