What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
