I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
