this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
