scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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