In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
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Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
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well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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