I cannot find my penis.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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