If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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