i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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