did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How naked do you want me to be?
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