Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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