So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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