just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
