why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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