Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
