There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize