if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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