The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
