You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
