he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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