don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize