If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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