How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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