Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
