Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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