I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
