I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
