if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
