She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
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Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
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He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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