hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
