No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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