i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
