i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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